Akiraran: Rezeki setiap insan,

10 more days before he turns four months old, time do flies so fasssssssssssst i can't even

Hai Assalamualaikum !

Last Monday was a very tiring day, but a wonderful day it was Alhamdulillah. We finally have the chance to bring Althaf to met his Grandfather at Kuang, after that we decided to jalan jalan at IOI City Mall, but couldn't eat dinner there, cause you know, having a child means, there is always not enough time to jalan jalan. Hahaha. Crying for attentions because he bosan already duduk dalam stroller, crying because suddenly he wants to sleep, crying some more because after all of that he is hungry and needs to be breast feed, and off we went to nursing room. By the time we think that we have settled with him, there were probably less than 1 hour before the mall closed. Tapi sempatlah beli apa yang patut dan tak sempat beli apa yang diinginkan. Kepentingan > Kemahuan

Sobs.

Then off we went back and stop by at food stall first to have our take-away dinner. Tired already to dine in, all i think at that time was food and bed, and of course sleep. While the three of us waited for our food, there was this Abang Char keaw teaw came to give us the food that my husband ordered. (my husband and char keaw teaw cannot be apart) He saw Althaf, and suddenly his eyes brightened while saying

" wah...bulatnya mata dia. "

"dah berapa bulan ni"

"ohhh comelnya.. Abang dah 7 tahun mengidam dik" while he still cheerfully talking to Althaf.

But my heart has stopped. I can feel ache in my heart. I looked at my husband, and my husband look at me. Then the Abang back again to his work, while my husband continued to plays with Althaf and kiss him all over the face. We stayed quiet until we went back to our car, and by the time we passed that Abang's food stall, my husband said " rezeki dia, murah dekat business dia" Something like that la, when i finally said that "sedihnyaaaaaaaa kat abang tu".

I have read so many stories of the couples who wants children, but Allah still doesn't fulfilled it yet.

I believe that one day Allah will fulfill that Abang's wish. Because his story later will become "semangat" to couple who has been waiting for children for 2,3,4 years. There are many stories I read, couples who get kids after 10, 15 years of marriage. And even more than that. Allah knows best. He is the greatest planner and his plan is always the best.

I know it is easier to say rather than to be the one who experienced it. I hope that all couples who are expecting children of their own, their doa will be granted by Allah in the best time, and be grant that they will always be strong and happy. Your time will come, in sha Allah. Keep praying, praying is the greatest weapon in us.

Lately, my hearts felt a bit sad while watching and scrolling my social medias. I have been following mothers who have babies who are still...emm babies? Hahaha. Some of the baby are having the same age as Althaf. Why did my hearts ached? Because I cant give Althaf the clothes that are pretty like them, and i cant afford to give toys that Althaf should have. I dont get angry at them. Seriously not at all. I just sad that I cant afford the same thing when i should have.

But to think of it deeply, there areeeeeeeeee so many unfortunate person in this world. Some of them are not having foods to eat, the clothes are koyak rabak, they dont get a shelter to live by. Althaf should be grateful right (or his mom should!! bahahaha) he is a baby, mana dia tau erti bersyukur. Hahahaha. Alhamdulillah ya Allah, beri kami rumah untuk ditumpangi, makanan dan minuman yang sentiasa cukup, pakaian yang elok dan cantik. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.

That is why some people have this 'ideaa' to not share the things/ happiness to social medias right? But i dont really rely on that ideas. For example, when that Abang saw Althaf, we can't expect for that Abang to get sad by not bringing our kids everywhere just because other people dont have the chance to get kids, you know what i mean? And what more in our social medias right now. Everyone is sharing the tasty foods they have, the property they have etc. It depends on our niat, and Allah knows. So let Allah judges. So kalau riak, biarlah Allah yang menghukum, kalau niat nak share, dan simpan kenangan tak apelah. We cant expect people to be sad just because they cant get the food that we are eating just because we share in on social medias. For me, the way i get through the food that i cant afford is to always been grateful of what i have right now, that everyone has their own kind of rezeki and be happy of what we have now!

And last month my husband said that we already spent fortune on Althaf. We really need to slow down, (or it is just me hahaha) I keep wanting to buy him stuffs i cannot afford. I dont even spent on me anymore. I lost my handphone recently, and i dont even buy anything that i really want and i dont have the chance to save up my money hahaha. There are many things that i really need seriously, but, the love of a mother membatasi segalanya.

For now,